This week we're figuring out how windows work, looking for blueberry bagels, settling in to the new office space, comparing and contrasting Burger King's cheese to Wendy's' cheese, feeding the cat SpaghettiO's, equipping our desks with low rider hydraulics, getting ripped off on ergonomic tech, fighting carpal tunnel, getting a lifetime bus pass on our deathbeds, discussing the rise of bitcoin, predicting a bubble, buying new Dickies, and going back to court with a brand new old segment!
Stone's sitting in this week and we're talking about Cat/Griz football, the art of tailgating, retractions, a more in-depth Palabra del Dia, hiring strippers to harass our neighbors, hiring a hitman on the cheap in jail, getting tricked by people talking, satire and fake news, visiting a sex doll brothel with odd requests, setting Wal-Mart ablaze, Wal-Mart VS. Costco, Confessions of an Okay Life: Inside the Mind of a Stone, and more!
Talk to your friends this week, people!
This week we're taking local businesses to court for copping our style, revisiting best practices for winter driving, getting pretentious about drinking wine, facing a democratic recount over naming conference rooms, investing in new noodle bar fork tech, loving big silverware, spotting click-bait headlines, buying cheap chicken and selling it at a premium, reviewing Mindhunter on Netflix, robbing a lot of banks in different costumes, buying new winter tires, misreading the good intentions of neighbors as passive-aggression, purchasing propane, and keeping an open mind while finding fun activities to pass the time during the winter months.
This week we're just catching up after three weeks off, and we're discussing why voicemail is now unnecessary, unlimited data packages that aren't actually unlimited, the S8 vs the Pixel, hindsight tech, lampshade monitors, Bixby hiccups, email, Bladerunner 2049, Dark City, how the pugs locked Dubs keys in his car, Matt introduces his idea for a revolutionary new tail light, Hungry Hustlers: paying it forward, real life fables on social media, revisiting the public library, sneaking Chinese food into the movie theater, Wong's eggrolls, Palabra del Dia, financing a new bed, back pain, hot bed tech, and rescheduling recording. It doesn't sound hilarious, but somehow it still is, so download it now and listen to it, and then tell your friends!
Hop in the trenches with us this week as we define the characteristics of a modern country song, finally get some justice for Stageline, raise awareness instead of actually doing something, call out wack-ass capitols, fly to ATX and get hassled by the TSA, fight the awkwardness of airplane seating and random traveling animals, take a less than super shuttle to a baller JW Marriot, pivot to a conversation about Texas SONS before grabbing a drink in one of the most gentrified house-bars downtown, and then meet tech hero, Kelsey Hightower. After that we'll try to solve the mystery of a serial shitter in Colorado, attempt to bring a high-speed police chase to an end peacefully, and then devise a plan to long-con a bank robbery!
This is Drunkmento - grab a cold brew coffee because this week we've left ourselves a series of clues to figure out mysteries like: is that fountain for drinking or bathing, where is the bacon located in grocery stores, how to control and prevent rage from ruining family time, how to start embracing on-coming deafness and blindness, who is paying for religious billboards, why do people keep using terrible fonts, why's Google strong-arming small business owners, or are they, can we split a lap dance, why aren't there high-end pawn shops for celebrities, who stole the oxys from the trial evidence, how do you successfully smuggle drugs and alcohol into a music festival, did we discover a loophole to DUI's, and are cat vibes a thing?
Retrace our steps and get some answers on Episode 244!
Why do people like La Croix?, email and shout outs, clarifying vice presidential succession, an update on Stageline Pizza, when real estate meets pizza, misjudging the lineup at the show on Friday, Mugen Hoso, Palabra del Dia (Bonus), finally cleaning out the fridge, Heavy Machinery Hustlers: Bank of America ATM robbery with a forklift, how do I crime smarter?, people are always leaving keys laying around, pros and cons of the FBI taking this case off our hands, law enforcement power struggles, awesome tattoo ideas, trying to pay for lunch, Hero Arsonist of the Week: Firefighters dine on pigs they saved in fire, TFBOTG: mobile mechanic is fixing brakes, Power Moves: stuck between a cop and a hard place, some clumsy burglar leaves DNA behind at the scene, forgetting to flush, planting fake DNA to muddy the waters, and living with an active alarm clock stuck in the walls.
This week we're joined by our friend Aaron to discuss the strategy (or lack thereof) of Donald Trump and his administration, voter suppression and fraud, conservative complacency, changing minds with arguments, Nazis in the streets with torches, acknowledging absurd world-views, staffing the FCC to overturn net neutrality, Russia's involvement in the election, righteous violence, punching Nazis and running over protesters, trolling the left, training for non-violence, noob tactics of the alt-right, civil resistance via Chenoweth and Stephan, Leo Tolstoy and Kenneth Burke, the privilege of non-violence, accountability to better placed critics, better uses for white masculinity, the shrinking timeline of awareness, creative non-violence, war with North Korea, understanding the other with empathy, substituting a villain for a fool, how Nazis compare to BLM / Antifa / Black Panthers and others, problematic media, human cooperation, tearing down white supremacist iconography in public places, the hardly-subtle KKK, Stetson Kennedy, Linear and Emergent Logic, and more!
Happy Birthday, WHGL! We're kicking off our sixth birthday with whole new outlook on life and we're talking about picking out whore-bots on facebook, slowing down for mountain bikers, better pizza intel than last week, awkwardly engaging strangers, abiding by the social contract of acting like everything's okay, Chef Anne Burrell's pop-up Cheetos restaurant in NYC, an UPDATE on an old Unsolved Mystery, re-examining our target demographic, other found notes on Rodney St., stealing from a car you just rear-ended, never being too careful around EMT's, and how everyone's apparently selling fake drugs now.
Download Episode 241 and tell your friends!
This week we're chasing whiskey with coffee, going to Las Vegas, losing money, messing up names, figuring out street performers on Fremont St., visiting the Mob Museum, getting propositioned by who'res, playing digital craps, putting prisoners on display for money, pondering whether prostitutes are more people or sex toys, wiping feces on dealership vehicles, transporting drugs by way of dong, heisting condoms and vibrators, elaborately threatening our customers for not tipping, divulging locations for hard-to-find foods like Arctic Circle and the McRib, buying expensive cat carriers, and more!
Our friend Alex "Biggs" Small joins us for Episode 239 and we're discussing how to fly the Confederate flag behind your manly truck, recognizing the -isms in old beloved media, Palabra del Dia, speaking Spanish over the radio, killing your boyfriend to avoid reptilians, online cults, plural raptures, how author Chuck Tingle is like the Stephen King of alternative gay erotica, solving arguments with gasoline and alcohol, a Thai breast slapping technique to increase your bust size, the crazy life of Roy Gardner, reporting your cocaine stolen, and much more!
We're back in the Hutch this week and everything is going wrong. In Episode 238 we're doing our very best to: control the weather, track down missing cows, watch people talk to each other about cars, acknowledge other people in the community, get a radio station to play our song, rob a bank with a fake beard, bribe businesses into going cashless, figure out how wack Mexican food must be in Europe, shoot ourselves in the dick on accident, contemplate having a hand off while driving, look at crime in our community, get an education on the dos and don'ts of using the word "Gypsy", snort chocolate because that's a thing now, leave our pistol in a park somewhere, and cope with a little bad news about Wilberforce.
This week we're falling down YouTube rabbit holes, podcasting on a full stomach, recognizing the visionary behind the Hawaiian pizza, eavesdropping on shady characters, rethinking TouchTunes' jukebox credit policy, re-examining why so many people still have all their fingers, reading way too far into Waylon Jennings' entire career, renting a VR room to escape the heat, talking to ghosts, firebombing people in traffic, calling out wack criminal monikers, purchasing shoes in 60 seconds or less, and finally experiencing an earthquake!
Well, it's about time! Episode 236 is a milestone for WHGL. We're discussing sleeper money in Lincoln, the Oak Ridge Boys break down in Bozeman, Palabra del Dia, Canadian snipers fighting ISIS, the effect of gravity on bullets, losing an arm in a lover's quarrel, using your car as a weapon, dropping dollops of coke in front of a cop, taking a family hostage and running errands, renewing your threats, and police reports!
In Episode 235, we're rediscovering DVD's, finding a breaking point with yard work, stealing old ATM's, killing the dreams of a young pizza delivery man, examining "Highwayman" by the Highwaymen, releasing bed bugs on city hall, tricking drug dogs, partying at Shoe Carnival, eating at the strip club buffet and much more!
In Episode 234 we're coming to you live from Lincoln, MT! We're talking about old tech, Palabra del Dia, buying property, wearing two different shoe sizes, encountering SONS at the top of the pass, how fake rings are sometimes real rings, a grocery store product mapping app, a Great Falls restaurant hosting an eating competition, a Tennessee man daring a judge, a breakdown of ingredients for the "prison baby", Deputy Captain Boobs, positive existentialism, kind of getting off the grid, and hitting dear.
In the highly anticipated Episode 233, we're not just asking tough questions about whether or not to keep Palabra del Dia, we're also congratulating ourselves on becoming Top Chefs vicariously, cutting off heads and stabbing people, giving out tips and tricks for your feline friends, offering a better beard transplant service, and selling meat door to door.
In Episode 232, we're falling apart after 30, introducing a new segment called Power Moves, celebrating Mother's Day at KFC, hustling up food and tools at Target, faking our son's death for money, and preying on anonymous generosity. It's time to go all in this week, tell your friends!
Cody joins us for Episode 231! We discuss good BBQ, banana pudding, Michael Shannon and Mike Rowe, Cody's upcoming move to Washington D.C., finding a job across the country, how obsessions turn into die hard conspiracy theories, Pizzagate, Alex Jones, and what happens when method acting becomes real life.
In Episode 230 we're taking a more realistic look at Earth Day, injecting our balls with scrotox and our asses with cement, finding legal loopholes to keep bars open in India, faking a pregnancy to get adoption money, getting into specialized tricking, pulling teeth whilst hoverboarding, gassing people for their valuables, and formulating the ultimate reality TV show.
Episode 229 is long overdue, but well worth the wait! We're talking about shopping carts, the security at Chuck E. Cheese, beating kids up for the greater good, stupid ways to die, that time Mars Inc and Hershey's joined delicious forces, choking to death on donuts and pancakes, and how Elon Musk is beyond your Earthly squabbles! One day we'll all be reading each other's minds on the internet, but until then, tell your friends!
In Episode 228 we're trying our best to sell you this tie-dyed t-shirt, get inside the mind of a gacked-out trucker, eavesdrop on a wedding and talk to strangers, lie to police to spur results, lose our internet rights and more!
Episode 227 teaches you how to avoid St. Paddy's like a pro, use a pacemaker to catch an arsonist, smoke mushrooms and kiss and fight your brother, bleed about the brain for up to 36 hours, properly order meat while dining out, and then start your pants on fire in defense of a client.
In Episode 226 you'll learn what it truly means to be a professional imposter, whether you're looking for a new job, dining and dashing, dressing like a cop to pull a heist, using a time machine to invest in stocks, tricking people into renting their own pets, or serving pop-up advertisements directly into people eyeballs. Don't fall behind the times! Listen to this episode now and tell your friends later!
FUN FACT: Episode 225 was recorded on 2/25! Neat! we're taking you on a journey where you'll discover new and exciting ways to creep out your co-workers, trust the freshness of McDonald's eggs, avoid awkward situations in public bathrooms, wear all denim, glue your vagina shut, use a pressure cooker, add another level of danger to your B&E's, create a glitch that releases 30,000 volatile prison inmates by mistake, build bigger jails, play with legos, and volunteer to go to SXSW!
In Episode 224 we're investigating fast food breakfast tech, learning Spanish, figuring out where to fit an 18" dong, using obnoxious American traits to get deeply discounted admission fees to parks in Japan, looking for arson suspects after firehouse budget cuts, robbing armored cars, pouring over police reports, and ice skating!
Look, listen: it's time to finally relax and focus on you for once. Episode 223 picks you up gently, and takes all of the guesswork out of blending coffee, which cows to eat and which to milk, getting your cow a cool Neo-Nazi haircut, where to take a date on Valentine's Day, getting dizzy for fun, allowing children to do dangerous things, selling drugs efficiently, convincing people to give you sea food, paying your debts with kielbasa, liking your job, having sex with animals, using fingerprints other than your own, and getting a warranty.
In Episode 222 we'll teach you how to: commit cow genocide to dominate the dairy industry, party like a teenager, smooth over one fireable offense with another and take a rookie down with you, smoke crack in the ICU, find that winning lottery ticket in your desk at work, spend a half-million dollars, and drink and drive legally.
In Episode 221 you'll be abducted and forced to entertain bored billionaires, re-live fifth grade drama, drug race horses, pocket-dial 911 from your meth lab, eat a fried chicken taco and a free continental breakfast, and more!
We're kicking in the door on 2017 a day late and a dollar short. In Episode 220, you'll learn incredible new skills like solving Young Jeezy's riddles, giving up on Spotify, getting weird and sad on your birthday, catching up on old emails and retractions, forgetting the awful previous year, how to best steal lottery tickets in bulk, how lottery tech probably works, how to exchange Christmas gifts for Whoppers at Burger King if you have a time machine, how to better understand and deal with the Mandela effect, never trusting your memory, kicking cigarettes with placebos, and staying community minded with local police reports.